Things we wished we had known at the beginning.

This section contains the things that current Friendship Groups wished they had known when they were starting up. The advice represents lessons learned by these groups. They wanted to pass on these lessons so as to ensure that new groups didn’t make the same mistakes or find the process of starting a group so arduous.

1. Importance of communicating with District or sub district administration.
   Any thing that you do has to be done in relationship with the district or sub district administrator. It is very important that the District Administration knows what is going on. It is respectful to inform the District administration of your plans and priorities. This way, everyone is kept in the loop.
2. When a friendship group is formed it is important to try and make a visit.
   Visiting the chosen district sub district as soon as possible after an initial letter of approach is made is good for two reasons. One it helps start the process of relationship building that underpins all successful Friendship Agreements, and two, it helps the Australian Friends get an idea of “the lie of the land”. i.e. the scope and situation of the district,/sub district.
3. Treat the Timorese with respect. It goes without saying that Friendships are based around mutual respect. It is important collaborate around identified needs rather than assuming that you know what Timor needs and wants. At the same time be very aware of what your priorities are and how these link into national govt priorities. Also be aware of what you have got to offer – how can your skills and knowledge be most usefully shared?
4. Be sensitive to environment in which you are operating – be aware of implications of material aid. Is it sustainable? (If for example you send electronic items think how they will be maintained)
5. Is it functionable? If there is little access to regular electricity, is there any point in sending computers?
6. Don’t aim too high – start small. Relationships and activities take time to grow and develop. Don’t be afraid to start off very small. Do not try and do things too hastily or provide too many resources at once. Ease your way into the relationship.
7. Volunteering is a choice that involves sacrifice of time, energy and money.
   Nourish and sustain your volunteers. Make sure that you recruit new volunteers so that people do not feel burnt out or too put upon. Reward your volunteers with praise, thanks, celebrations etc. Seek out people with requisite skills. Recognise that not everybody has requisite skills even though they may be brimful with enthusiasm. Spread your activities by using the expertise of a broad range of people.
8. The range and depth of needs is so great that you could get stuck deciding what to do.
   So make sure that you are aware of and operate within the limits of your capacity. Do not promise things you cannot deliver on. You need to ask: What is the most appropriate and practical assistance that we can deliver that will produce tangible outcomes?
9. The giving of Material aid can be somewhat fraught.
   The difficulties are getting it there, getting it delivered, appropriateness of technology, tax and customs, identifying who is to take responsibility for distribution, who is allowed to use the resources etc.
10. Find out who is working in the same district and Form durable partnerships with others working in the same district or just in Timor Leste. eg Australian Volunteers International, Catholic Church, Rotary, National and International Non Government Organisations and other Friendship groups.
11. Invest time in building relationships with people. This is the key to successful Agreements. Be very clear of what you mean by friendship. Friendship groups and those in Timor with whom we are co-operating are not yet fully trusting of the underlying agenda of friendship - there is understandable suspicion on part of the Timorese.
12. Be very very patient
13. Try to establish a reliable communication channel so that you can have regular contact with your counterparts in Timor. This might be a NGO worker, a priest etc with access to a phone. It need not necessarily be members of your Friendship group in Timor. This will work as long as the person with the phone acts as a conduit for information.
14. Use the Friendship Liaison Officer in Dili as your point of reference for issues of protocol, for acting as a conduit for information and resources, and for all issues to do with Friendship Commissions in Timor.
15. If you are an independent group it is good to try and link with your Local Government Association as they bring infrastructural support and kudos.
16. A good strategic plan is a useful tool. It helps the group plan current and future activities and makes clear roles and responsibilities.
17. You may have to continually re work relationship because of turn over of people in TL. You will need to try and make strong connections so that there is not a constant renegotiation of the meaning and terms of your agreement.
18. In any Friendship there will be two way sharing - be clear about what you are gaining from relationship.